A Cell in the Hand is NEVER Worth More than an Ed in the Bush
by Twific-textmessagelolcontest
Summary: Bella and Edward are busy parents who have difficulty finding 'quality time' together. They fit it into their lives any way they can – including through text messages. But sometimes, things don't always go the way Bella plans.


**Contest entry for the Twi-Fic Text Message LOL Contest**

**Title: A Cell in the Hand is NEVER Worth More than an Ed in the Bush**

**Pairing: Bella and Edward**

**Rating: M**

**Word Count: 6,578**

**Summary: Bella and Edward are busy parents who have difficulty finding 'quality time' together. They fit it into their lives any way they can – including through text messages. But sometimes, things don't always go the way Bella plans.**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognized characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just like to mess around with them and have some fun.**

* * *

_**Ding**_

Damn!

_**Ding**_

Fuuuuuuuck!

_**Ding**_

Damn it all to fuckety fuck!

I cracked my right eye open, since the left side of my face was buried in my pillow, and looked at the red numbers on my bedside clock.

"Uggghhhhh…." I groaned. It was three in the morning.

_**Ding**_

I reached up with my right hand and scrubbed at my face, wiping the drool that had pooled at the left corner of my mouth across my chin.

It was the damned cell phone that woke me with that blasted noise alerting me of a new text.

_**Ding**_

And another.

_**Ding**_

And a-fucking-nother!

"Damn it….!"

I knew who it was before I even picked it up.

It had been boys' night out and the bar had shut down an hour ago. It must have taken the group of them that long to walk back to Jasper's and get settled in and now it was time for the "drunk texting" portion of the evening to begin.

Once every few months, the boys – who really were nearly middle-aged men (who didn't want to hear that) – got together for pizza, pool and beer at the sports bar half a mile away from Jasper and Alice's place. Alice would take their daughter, eight-year-old Jenna, and go to her folks' house, leaving her and Jasper's four-bedroom home empty for the boys to crash in for the night.

Jasper, Emmett, Jacob, Seth, and my dearest husband, Edward, enjoyed their male bonding time. It made them feel young. We wives had all decided that one drunken night at Uley's Bar every three or four months was better than them buying expensive sports cars, trolling for sluts on the internet or gambling their 401ks away. Besides, Sam and Emily Uley would rat them out if they so much as looked at one of the bar skanks who liked to hang around in hopes of a quick lay with one of our good-looking fellas.

_**Ding**_

I rolled off my left arm and over onto my back. I shook my left hand, which had fallen into a deep sleep much like I had been, to work out the pins and needles and then reached for my phone on the night stand.

I slid the bar over and opened up the text messages – all from Edward.

_**Hey**_

_**You there?**_

_**Wake up…**_

_**Bellllaaaaaaaa….**_

_**I luv uuuuuuu**_

Good grief!

I pushed myself up and into a seated position, pulling and shifting my pillows behind my back and resting against them. Typical of a boys' night out, Edward drank more than he would consume on a regular basis, even at Em and Rose's annual Fourth of July cookout, which was always overflowing with beer and liquor. He was pleasantly pickled and I got the joy of waking up to his drunken, horny pleadings. I shot him a quick text back before he could send me another.

_**Love you too Edward. How was your night?**_

The boys had done the best they could to keep up their several times a year tradition. Over the years, they'd had to skip some, but made sure they got together at least once before the Christmas holidays. In fact, seven years ago, when our twins, Kenley and Kaitlyn, were born, Edward had insisted on skipping the next three boys' nights. It had been sweet of him to insist he needed to stay home and help me with the babies, but damn, he'd become a cranky mother. When the next time came around, I'd pushed his ass out the door. Emmett and Jake had made it their personal mission to make sure he was completely lit and unable to return home until much later the following morning.

That had been the first night of our venture into the world of drunk "sexting".

It had ended rather uneventfully considering Kaitlyn, or maybe it was Kenley, had woken up and I had to leave Edward in the middle of his dirty drunk rambling to heat up a bottle. Apparently, my leaving him "hanging" didn't upset him too much. Jasper found him the next day, curled up on the bathroom floor, his pants around his knees and a fist full of dried-up... Well... Anyway…

Of course, pictures were taken and shared. Not my husband's finest moment, but not as bad as the picture of Jake and Emmett spooning. Naked.

My phone vibrated in my hand as it dinged at me and I looked down to see what my handsome green-eyed drunk sent me now.

_**It was gooooood. But I miss u.**_

Here we go.

These days, we didn't get a lot of time together. The girls had soccer in the winter and spring and volleyball in the fall. Plus, they would participate in summer dance and drama camps. All of this added in to my full time teaching job and Edward's computer design and sales job that had him traveling the west coast, and we were lucky to find once a month to get in a quick "Wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am".

Or Sir.

_**I miss you too. So much.**_

Edward and I were high school sweethearts and we had done our damnedest to keep the passion of our youth burning as the years had progressed.

_**What r u wearing luv**_

I grinned at my boy's text. I knew that he always took the downstairs guest bedroom at the Whitlock abode, far away from the other bedrooms and with its own adjoining bathroom, just for these nights.

Sure, some might think that it was weird or gross to dirty drunk-text while in your sister and brother-in-law's guest bedroom. But, considering we'd found Alice and Jasper deep in the throes of passion while they were supposed to be babysitting our girls…well, turnabout was fair play. I mean, Edward still has nightmares from walking into our laundry room to find his little sister naked on top of our washing machine while Jasper plowed into her. She was yelling something about "Ride 'em, Cowboy!" while the washer gyrated and shook through its spin cycle.

There hadn't been enough bleach in the world to clean the top of that washing machine … or the visions from Edward's mind.

_**A tank and panties. White.**_

Prior to my sophomore year, I moved to Forks to get away from my crazy mother and her newest husband. My dad, Charlie, and his wife, Sue, welcomed me in with open arms.

Sue had two kids of her own: Seth, who was currently crashed at Jasper's with the rest of the guys and married to Angela, and his older sister, Leah, who was now married to Jake. As teens, Leah would often cover for me so I could sneak out and hook up with Edward in the back seat of his Grand Am.

I'd met Edward the first day of my sophomore year in Advanced Bio. He was a junior and the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world when he'd asked me to the fall dance. Especially since it was a Sadie Hawkins dance, which meant the girls were supposed to ask the boys.

He confessed on our six month anniversary of dating that he had asked me to the dance that day because he couldn't stand the thought of seeing me go with someone else. He had purposely asked me before I could ask another.

We've been together nearly every day since.

_**I luv yr white panttiees**_

God love him, he was trying to do his best to text coherently. But at times like this, he was all thumbs.

I lost my virginity to Edward on my seventeenth birthday. I never regretted it, giving myself to him at that young age. I already felt as if I'd waited a lifetime to be with him. Each day, I'd burned with the need for him to claim me. We'd done our fair share of touching with hands and mouths, but nothing could ever compare to the feeling of Edward's cock inside me. Nothing.

_**I know baby, that's why I wore them.**_

Most men liked their women in lacy thongs, or sexy lingerie in hues of red and black.

This was confirmed each time I sat around talking to my girl-friends about the things they wore for their husbands during their "sexy time". Rose always wore red lace teddies. Alice would adorn herself in black lace thongs and cup-less bras. Leah was a crotchless panties girl. Angela was the only one who was more conservative than me, choosing knee length night gowns, in flannel.

But, Edward - he liked me in something sweet and innocent looking, like the teenage girl he'd met and dated, he would say. White and virginal; simple cotton and no lace. That's how we rolled in the Cullen bedroom.

_**Imma hard for u**_

_**Prove it, Big Boy.**_

The first few times we did this text exchange, I'd kept it to myself. Obviously, the guys knew something had happened after finding Edward with his "leavings" in his palm that one night. But I had somehow managed to keep our sex texts to myself. That was, until the night I was doing my own fraternizing with the girls and spilled the beans. Much to my sobering embarrassment the next day, I was told that I had shared the saved texts from mine and Edward's last "sexting" encounter with the group of girls. Including the photos.

Of course, the girls wanted to know why we didn't just talk, like normal couples having sex over the phone lines. And I wasn't real sure what to tell them. "Sexting" had become our thing, and we had gotten good at it, too. After years of practice, I could type with my left hand while I fingered my clit with the right, all while keeping my groans quiet enough so the girls wouldn't come knocking to see if I was OK. It was a talent I was secretly quite proud of.

_**U askd 4 it**_

I bit my lower lip in anticipation, with the next ding of my phone, I received a photograph. Sliding my finger across it, the image opened to the full screen. It was Edward's rock-hard cock, his long lovely fingers were wrapped around it, squeezing.

Edward's cock was a thing of beauty. Penises and vaginas couldn't be more ridiculously ugly, in my opinion, but I could look at Edward's cock for hours. Before having kids, when we used to be able to laze around in bed all day on the weekends, basking in our sex afterglow, I would just admire his long length, stroking and touching him. My husband was the fucking Adonis and I was the wanton sex slave. Except for the last seven years, when I'd become the begging crack whore looking for a quick Edward fix to get through the next thirty days.

_**God baby, I love your cock. I wish I was the one holding it.**_

My body flushed and I kicked my sheets down to the bottom of the bed.

It had been a few weeks since we'd spent "quality" time together and while bringing myself to climax wasn't the most ideal way to do it, as long as my boy was joining me, I would take it any way I could.

I ran my fingers along the top of my panties and felt the heat pooling between my thighs in anticipation.

I got another picture, this one, a close up of the head leaking pre-cum. That sight had my nipples hard and scraping on my shirt. I moved my hand back up my body and pulled the tank up and over my tits so I could feel the cool air on them, then began to pinch and twist the now-hard nubs.

_**I'd lick that cum right off…**_

And that was another thing, was semen supposed to taste good?

My friends would complain about it, saying they hated giving head because they didn't want to have to swallow. Getting sprayed in the eye wasn't an option for them, either; so they were admittedly all spitters. I'd never complained because Edward's juices tasted delicious. It was salty, but there was a tang of sweet mixed with the scent of what I could only describe as "Edward". Not that I would go so far as to say I could swallow him down on a daily basis, but I certainly didn't mind on the occasions that it happened.

And, he said I tasted delicious, too.

Damn, now I could feel the moisture leaking from me!

The phone alerted me to a new text and I looked down at the screen illuminating in my hand.

_**I lurv yr tong**_

OK, so his texting abilities weren't that great at that point, but the thought was there.

_**I love your tongue, too. I love it when you lick me and suck my clit into your mouth. Do you like that Edward?**_

I could imagine him groaning right now and it wasn't long before my phone went off again.

_**U wanna wide my cwok?**_

What the fuck?

My hand covered my mouth as I stifled a loud guffaw.

Suddenly, I was texting with Barry Kripke and I was Penny… or, worse yet, Doctor Sheldon Cooper.

The phone vibrating broke me from my hysterics.

_**Ride my clock?**_

Now I was assaulted with visions of Flavor Flav and his ginormous CLOCK hanging around his neck. Because clearly, when one said "clock", the normal image people conjured up was that of a middle-aged, gold-toothed rapper.

There was seriously something wrong with me.

My cell chimed again.

_**RIDE my COCK?!**_

It seemed Edward was tired of his drunken thumb and wasn't finding it nearly as amusing as I was. I couldn't hold back the giggle as I could just hear him cursing at the phone in his hand while he considered the reasons he shouldn't throw it across the room.

Before he could call it quits, I tried to save the situation.

_**Edward, you sex god, I would ride your wide cock until the clock chimed midnight. You are my king.**_

There, that would hopefully save the moment.

I waited a minute.

Then two.

I was afraid he had given up when my phone chimed.

_**Woman u own me. Now fuck me.**_

Yup.

We were back on the horse!

I scrolled back to the picture of his weeping cock and tried to get myself mentally back in the mood. My girl-bits had begun to dry up at visions of nerds and old rappers and I needed to get back to my happy place. Kneeling in front of Edward, his cock deep in my throat; THAT was a great happy place.

That could only be topped by Edward pushing deep inside me, hard and fast.

My left thumb moved across the screen as I started twisting and turning my right nipple between my thumb and forefinger.

_**If I was with you I wld climb up your body til I was sitting on yr face.**_

God, I wanted to hear the groan that I knew would escape his mouth at the thought of me riding his face. Edward loved giving oral as much as he loved receiving, and he loved it even more when I would grab onto the headboard and settle onto him for the long haul.

_**U taste fucking delisus**_

I ignored the poor spelling as I dragged my fingertips down my body, dipping them into the top of my panties. Just as I was about to slide into my folds, the bed shook and something was suddenly on me.

"Holy fuck!" I screamed and jumped as the phone flew from my hands landing with a thump somewhere on the floor at the foot of the bed. I was suddenly assaulted by a big ball of fur – a Maine Coon ball of fur by the name of Pooh, to be exact.

The twenty-five pound yellow fur ball had apparently been hiding under the bed when I retired earlier.

"Damn it to hell, Pooh! What the fuck are you doing in here?" I scooped the now-purring hair puff into my arms like a football and climbed off the bed. Clearly, Pooh thought it was time for him to get some loving. What the pussy under my arm didn't realize was that my own pussy outranked him at the moment. He squirmed in my arms and yowled indicating how unpleased he was with my lack of affection toward him as I walked across the room and opened the bedroom door.

"Screw you, cat!" I hissed back at him as I deposited his furry ass in the hallway and closed the door.

I heard him give me a parting hiss and then all was quiet again.

"Edward!" I had forgotten about my wanton husband who was not privy to my cat encounter and probably thought I had taken off into the world of "O" without him.

Anxious to get things back to where they were, I dropped to the floor and searched frantically in the dark for my phone. The one damned time I needed Edward to ignite my phone with messages, he was now silent. I ran my hands along the floor and under the foot of the bed when my fingers finally hit pay dirt.

"Yes!" I held the phone up in jovial exuberance and wished I had someone here to high-five my finding. Perhaps Pooh would consider coming back and giving me some mad props on my ability to find things in the dark? Probably not. The fucktard would most likely just scoff at me, turning his ass in my general direction while he flicked his tail and walked away.

I unlocked the phone and opened the messages, jumping back on the bed and shooting a text back to my man.

_**Taste me, drive your tongue deep into me. Fuck me with your tongue hard, Edward.**_

Oh yeah, that should get us back on course.

I shifted around on the bed, getting comfortable once again. I didn't get anything back so I typed off another message.

_**Baby, can you feel me? I'm rocking on you, just like you like, riding your face. Make me cum, Edward.**_

I was getting damp again and I slipped my fingers back into my panties. Oh, yeah! This time I was going to finish it off.

My phone went off and I looked down to read what my man had to say. I froze when I saw the text.

_**Um, Bella? I think you have the wrong number.**_

Oh, God, oh, God!

I looked at the top and saw what I had done.

The last person I had texted tonight before Edward's messages came was Esme, Edward's mom. I had shot her a quick text, before climbing into bed at eleven, confirming that I would be brining candied carrots and broccoli casserole to Sunday dinner the next day… well, today. I loved my mother-in-law to death, but did not share with her anything about my and her son's sex life. That would be wrong.

And uncomfortable.

Like now.

My phone chimed and vibrated.

_**Bella?**_

Damn it to hell! I knew I had to respond, there was no way out of this embarrassing moment other than taking the girls and running far, far away. But, running never solved anything, except that tonight I thought it might help, just a little.

_**Esme, I am sooooo sorry. I didn't mean to wake you and …**_

And what?

_**… and offend you. I'm so very, very sorry.**_

Every inch of me had gone cold, my heart racing. I mean, obviously she knew we were having sex, we had kids. But she didn't need to know that we had crazy sex. Missionary once-a-year sex, that's what she needed to believe we had, that was it.

Just like she and Carlisle had… right?

Oh God!

I scrunched my eyes shut and took long, slow breaths in an attempt to lower my heart rate. It felt like it was going to burst from my chest, like a foul mouthed deviant whore alien, and run far from here! My face was burning with embarrassment and I literally thought I was going to puke. Our monthly family dinner was tomorrow… today… and I'm making candied carrots and broccoli covered in cheese! Holy heck! How would I be able to face her?

Running away was clearly becoming my best choice.

The suitcase was in the attic… and I hated the attic. But maybe I could brave it, just this once.

"Fart knockers!" I said out loud.

Yeah, I couldn't even cuss now. I was reduced to words even my daughters would deem immature and stupid.

"Crap-o-la… fluff my life!" Somehow, the words just didn't hold the same meaning for me.

My phone went off and I peeked one eye open so I could look down and read the new message.

_**Sorry luv had to shake the snake… where were we?**_

Good God! I slapped a hand over my face and dragged it down until I was clutching my mouth and chin. There was no way in hell I could do this anymore. My vagina was officially frozen shut.

My phone chimed again.

_**Bella, dear, it's ok. I was up to check on Alice and Jenna. Old habits die hard. Don't be embarrassed, glad to know you and my son have a good sex life. ;-)**_

A WINKY face?! Really? My mother-in-law, grandmother to my children, mother to my husband, just WINKED at me? In reference to SEX with her SON?!

OK, now I wasn't sure if I was creeped out or relieved. Before I could even form a coherent thought on what in the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks the WINKY face meant, the phone buzzed.

_**Bells? Hun?**_

Poop! Edward! I checked to be sure I was responding to the right person and typed out my response.

_**I'm here.**_

Then to Esme, I sent:

_**Um, OK, good night then.**_

I then deleted all text threads from my phone except the one I had going with Edward. I would never again sext with him before deleting all other texts from my phone. Of course, it would most likely be a cold day in hell with a large flock of pink pigs flying over our heads before I did that again, anyway. But, just to be safe, I would make the vow to never do this again without deleting all other texts.

Maybe we need sexting only cell phones.

I shook my head… at myself… and my own ridiculous thoughts. Since I had already kicked the cat out of the room there was no one here to assist in my self-chastising. Of course, if we did this via Face Time, Edward could see me shaking my head. And then my mother-in-law would have gotten an eyeful she wouldn't soon recover from.

Dear God.

I shook myself and opened the texts.

_**Baby?**_

_**Where r u?**_

_**I'm gonna call…**_

No way! I couldn't talk to him right now. I shot him a text back.

_**No, no I'm here. Had to take care of some personal business.**_

A moment passed and then I received another text.

_**Still hrd for u. u still on m face? Ride m bells**_

Well, his texting hadn't gotten any better.

"I can do this," I said with resolve and stretched my legs out in front of me on the bed as I leaned back into my pillows. I pulled up the picture of his cock leaking for me again and felt the tight pull low in my belly. It seemed the Great Ice Age between my legs had begun to thaw. Praise the Lord!

_**I'm straddling your hips, rubbing my clit and pinching my nipples. You're licking your lips, my juices still on your face.**_

Yes, World, Bella was back! Goodie!

OK, not everything was back. I was still using the expletives of a twelve year old.

_**God B u look so gooob lrv u sexy**_

The teacher in me tried to get past his poor texting abilities as I rubbed and pinched my nipples. I finally had them hard again and I felt like there was a rubber band in my abdomen, pulled tight.

_**Do me hard Edward from behind. I'm getting on all fours. Smack my ass.**_

_**Grrddddd blla so goob**_

I wasn't one that was normally into the whole "spanking" thing, but desperate times called for creative thinking. It quickly registered with me that I seemed to be back into the world of grown up talk as I once again skimmed my fingertips down to my panties. Spreading my legs I traced the elastic line that ran along my leg before slowly sliding my finger under the fabric and around my slit. I gathered some of the moisture that had finally begun to pool again and spread it around.

_**Fuck me hard, baby. Are you pounding me?**_

_**Yyyyyyssssss**_

It was clear by his barely coherent text that my husband was in the full throws of masturbation. I began to pump my finger in and out, the rubber band pulling tighter in my belly and about to break.

"Oh, God… yessss…." I hissed as quietly as I could.

Knock – knock – knock

"Mommy? Mommy, Kenley says she's gonna be sick and needs you!"

HELL FUCKING NO! I shouted in my own brain… not wanting to scare my daughter on the other side of my bedroom door.

"Damn it!" I mumbled.

My orgasm had instantly shut down at the sound of my daughter's voice. "Just a minute, honey!" I replied and then proceeded to throw a full-blown fit in the bed. It was similar to the tantrums my girls would throw when they were two. Legs and arms flailing as I shook my head back and forth, I was sure I looked ridiculous but I had to do it lest I open the door and strangle my lovely girl.

I shot Edward a text, sure that he was probably already pulsing, cock in hand and cum running down his belly.

_**Need to pause, baby. Kenley is sick – need to check on her.**_

I instantly got a response.

_**Ok, luv, let me know wats up**_

I put the phone on silent and grabbed my terrycloth robe from the adjoining bathrooms door. It was blue with a white and yellow daisy pattern and had been a Mother's Day gift from the girls' year before last. I pulled the belt around my waist and cinched it tight. I stopped to grab a rubber band and raked my fingers through my hair, fastening it into a high ponytail. I knew from experience that it was best, when taking care of puking children, to have all loose items secured tightly or you'll find your hair, jewelry and clothing covered in vomit.

Pulling the door open and flipping on the hall light, I saw Kaitlyn, standing in the hall. Her green eyes shone with clear concern for her sister. Being twins, they were much more in tune with each other's feelings and when one was sick, the other would just about worry herself into sickness. Pushing a lock of her curly auburn hair out of her eyes she squinted at me and then grabbed my hand.

"Mommy, she says her tummy really hurts. Come on!" she squeezed my hand tightly and pulled me down the hall. My cell, which I had slipped into the pocket of my robe, vibrated against my thigh as an evil reminder of what I'd been so close to and was now so very far away from.

I followed behind my daughter; she was pulling me so hard her body leaned forward in effort, and rounded the corner to the bathroom. The door was closed, but the light on. I knocked and heard a sniffle.

"Kenley, sweetie, can I come in?" I paused with my hand on the doorknob. I was going in regardless, but I wanted her to feel like she had some say in the matter, even if she really didn't.

"Yes, Mommy," came the small voice from the other side.

I opened the door to see Kenley, sitting on the bathroom floor, a blanket underneath her and her winter jacket wrapped tightly around her. I could see her pink and purple plaid flannel pajamas peeking out from under her light blue parka. There was a towel on the floor and what looked like a damp washcloth lying across the top of her head. It came far enough forward on her face so I couldn't see her eyes.

I knelt in front of her and removed the washcloth. Her big brown eyes were red, as if she'd been crying, her brown hair lying flat on her head, damp from the cloth. I tucked her straight hair behind her ears, moving it from her face, and then cupped her cheeks in my hands.

"OK, sweet girl, tell me what's going on."

She sniffled and began speaking, "I thought I was gonna puke. My tummy really hurt and I was crying but I wanted to be a big girl and not wake you up, Mommy. But it hurt too badly, so I came in here."

"And I got her the blanket and jacket and rag and water and made sure she was comfy and warm, just like you Mommy!" Kaitlyn was rambling on a mile a minute behind me and I could see her bouncing from one foot to another out of the corner of my eye. It amazed me how much of her Aunt Alice's personality she had in her.

Kaitlyn was somehow just like her aunt and Kenley was the quiet thinker, like Edward. I was convinced if we ever had a third, he – or she – would be the epitome of Edward's older brother, Emmett. That thought alone had me shaking in terror and taking my birth control like clockwork.

"Thank you, Kaitlyn," I said over my shoulder, then sat on the floor in front of Kenley, taking her hands in mine. "Lee, tell me what you ate tonight."

"Well, two moon pies and a big glass of milk," she said sheepishly.

"And cheese! Don't forget the cheese! Oh! And that pickle! Remember? After Mommy went to bed you said you were still hungry and you snuck into the kitchen and got that giant pickle Daddy had brought home?"

As if on cue, the phone in my pocket vibrated. Edward must have telepathically heard his giant pickle being spoken of… shit. I smacked my own thoughts down and refocused on the girls.

"Lee, did you really eat all that?" I knew the answer was yes by the death stare she was giving her sister over my shoulder.

"Kenley," I said with firmness as she looked at me and then lowered her eyes.

"Yes, Mommy. I did eat all of that. I'm really sorry."

I kissed her damp head and stood up. Taking the few steps to the medicine cabinet, I pulled the Pepto out and then poured her a capful. As she drank it, I shot Edward a text letting him know that the girls were fine; it was only a food-induced belly ache and nothing more.

I tucked them in, kissed them both and then said my goodnights before heading back into my own room.

I closed the door, leaning against it as the phone vibrated again.

I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the time. An hour had passed since I'd first awakened. An hour of interrupted fingering and unfulfilled climaxing. There was no way in holy fuck I was going to get back to that place again. But sadly, I was wide awake, with … wait…

_**Bell I'm waiting to cum with u. r u done with the grlz?**_

… Yup, a horny man on my hands.

He was nothing if not persistent.

And patient.

And horny.

I walked to the bed and threw the phone on it before I untied my robe, letting it slide to the floor. I grabbed the remote from the nightstand drawer and flipped on the television. The last channel I'd watched was currently deep into an episode of "Angel".

I grabbed the phone and turned the ringer back on, in case I fell asleep, and told my lovely man that I was still here and ready and waiting for his thick cock to ride me hard. Of course, I was so far out of the mood that even if Edward was split into two people, one suckling and biting my nipples and the other licking and slurping at my pussy, I would have been more excited to watch David Boreanaz work his magic on the TV screen.

God, I loved a hot, brooding vampire!

Five minutes later, I got a text from Edward:

_**Grrddd blllllaaannngetolll mmmmm**_

To which I replied with:

_**Oh God baby so good**_!

I told him I loved him and goodnight, and slid underneath the covers. At least one of us had been able to get off. My eyes slowly closed to Angel and Spike arguing about some demon.

.

.

.

I was deep into a dream where Angel and Spike were fighting over me, both declaring their undying love for me. I, of course, was deciding who I needed to bed first… for compatibility purposes.

Angel gave me that half-smirk and strode over to me, lifting my shirt and lowering his head to my tits.

I arched my back as the sensation flooded through me. His tongue lapped and circled before he sucked my nipple into his mouth and gently scraped his teeth across it, making it even harder. I groaned and slowly became aware that the sensations I was feeling weren't a dream, but reality.

"Hmmmmmmm…. that feels nice," I said as I reached down and ran my fingers through my husband's hair. It was wet from what I assumed was a shower and even without opening my eyes, I knew he was naked and smiling against my breast.

"You taste nice," he mumbled around my flesh as he continued to suck the nipple hard into his mouth before he moved on to the other. His hips slid across my legs and I felt his hard shaft against me.

I blinked my eyes open and took in the room. Late morning light filtered through the curtains, the sheet was down around my hips while my tank top was pushed up under my chin. The house was eerily quiet and the bedroom door was open. My heart skipped.

"Edward, the girls!"

"Alice came and took them to Mom's," he said, kissing my chest and then my cheeks. "The girls all wanted time to play before dinner later. I met Al here and sent them all off together about thirty minutes ago." He continued kissing my face as his hands grabbed my shirt and lifted it over my head, leaving me topless. "I showered and tried to let you sleep, but I just couldn't. Watching you made me so hard…I need to be inside you, Bells." His mouth made its way to my ear and he sucked on my lobe before descending down my body.

"Was it good for you last night?" he asked, pulling the sheet down from my hips and hooking his thumbs in the side of my panties. I lifted my hips to help him pull them off.

"Welllll…." I wasn't sure what to say. I would eventually tell him everything but, for now, I wanted to just get him inside me. "It was… something. We can talk about it… later," I panted, as he kissed the inside of my thighs before settling his head in my now-aching core. The feel of his mouth on me had me gripping the sheets as I arched my back, pushing myself harder into his mouth.

He let out a low chuckle as he began to lap and suck at me.

I was so close to release I couldn't breathe.

Normally, I would come undone around him, as he eagerly licked me clean, but today, I needed him in me. I grabbed at him begging him to fill me.

"Edward, please. I need you in me. I want to cum with you in me."

He shifted up onto his knees and put my left leg up on his shoulder as he lined himself up with me. "This is gonna be hard and fast, okay, sweetheart?" He slid in and I threw my head back, hissing,

"Yes!"

Sexting with Edward was great, phone sex was awesome, but the feeling of his cock buried deeply inside me ... well, nothing compared to that feeling. I idly wondered why we didn't find the time to do this more often as he began to rub and flick at my clit.

"God, Bella, I'm gonna…."

He was right there, about to come, and I was right there with him. I could feel the buildup and the familiar pull low in my abdomen.

"Yes, Edward! Yes!"

I was so close. So damned close.

Finally! After all of the distractions from last night; the cat and my text blunder, Kenley's upset belly and my frozen tight vagina, I was going to hit the mother load of orgasms. I couldn't wait. My muscles were clenching tighter and tighter as Edward pushed into me harder and harder. Words like "fuck" and "more" barely escaping my lips as the rubber band in my belly pulled to the point of breaking.

"Oh, God! Edward! Yes! I'm gonna…!"

_**Ding**_

Fucking hell!

_**Ding**_

"Damn it," Edward growled as his hips slowed.

"Should probably get it, it could be the girls," I said, silently screaming in my head. Apparently I was not destined to have an orgasm this side of the new millennium.

Edward leaned down and stretched past my head to grab the phone while keeping himself sheathed within me. Shifting onto his left forearm, his chest pressed against mine, he held the phone in his right hand and swiped the screen open with his thumb.

I wiggled my hips under him, earning myself a crooked grin just as he began to read.

Edward's eyebrows shot up into his hair line and he froze; his body rigid on mine.

The phone chimed with another incoming text and suddenly he pushed away from me, face pale and hand cupping his now soft dick.

"Edward? What's wrong?"

He looked at me, eyes big and round, as the phone chimed yet again causing him to jump, the menacing piece of technology flying from his hand and in my direction.

It landed on my chest with a soft 'thud' just as it chimed again.

"Edward, what the hell?"

He pointed at the phone and opened his mouth to speak but only a gurgling noise came out. His face was turning an odd shade of puce and I seriously thought I was going to have to call 9-1-1.

I pushed myself up into a seated position on the bed while grabbing the phone so I could see what had him so upset.

I read over the chain of texts before glancing back up to him. He scrubbed his face with his hand as he spoke. "Bella, why is my mom talking to you about our…"

I looked back down at the messages, all from Esme:

**_Girls are here and fine._**

**_Bella? OH! Have fun!_**

**_Enjoy your ride … LOL … stay in bed all day if you want!_**

**_Make me a new grandbaby!_**

**_;-)_**

WINKY FACE?!

Fuck.

* * *

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